Breaking Point

So yesterday, was my breaking point, don't know if it is because I am on straight nights for a month or because my friend that comes every month is visiting.  But I am an emotional wreck.  I just lost it at work when I got there, this whole baby topic is getting the best of me.  That is all I see at work is pregnant people, I am starting to really hate going to work for that one factor.  It sucks..  Yeah, I know like everyone says if it is meant to happen it will.  What  a line of BS.  It hasn't happened people in ten years with NO protection.  I personally want it to happen but I am losing complete faith on the whole topic.  I am not sure if I am strong enough to with stand all these emotions that are built up inside of me.   This whole emotional roller coaster is killing me and I want to get on a much smoother ride.  What is truly happening here, am I getting punished for things I did in my past, because if that is the case, I wish I could erase some of the things I did in my past, But I am afraid it is too late for that.  I just have to live each day to the fullest and enjoy every waking hour with or without children in my future.