My world

My world

Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Years Resolution 2012

After a long time searching my heart and soul, I realized there are two really good resolutions that I am going to work on in the year 2012................
Number one is FORGIVENESS.............
I am going to learn myself how to forgive people of what they did or what they will do to me in the upcoming year.  I am going to teach myself to just let things roll off my shoulders. 
Number two is TRUST...............
I will learn to trust my family and hope that everything that comes out of there mouths is not a lie but the truth.  I will learn my self not to lie or bend the truth!
These two resolutions might be easier said then done, I have had lots of issues with my family in the past, I really really have to be patient with my family and of course, I also have to be patient with myself.....

Friday, December 30, 2011

Blowing the top off....

I have been wondering when any of my sisters were going to come and see there niece.  So this morning I emailed or should I say I asked them on there face book page.  Let's just say..... they were FIRED UP!!  I was just trying to let them know how I was feeling about them not coming to see my little girl, but, I guess the table turned and they let me have it.  I guess it is not worth pushing the issue!
Sometimes I feel as if I was born into the wrong family.  I guess when your family has never been close it is too late to try when you are 34 years old.  Oh well, I tried. It is all up in there hands!
We will see if 2012 changes.  Who knows what will happen.  If not I guess I still have the most perfect family, that I could ever ask for.  We will see what happens!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011


When I was young I always thought it would be cool to have a BFF (best friend forever).  I could never find a person that didn't already have a BFF.  I didn't want to be a BFF to someone who already had a BFF.  I know selfish right... Wrong I didn't want to share my BFF with anyone.  I never wanted to feel like the third wheel, but in the end I was.  Needless to say, I never had a BFF until 12 years ago when I met my husband.  
When he first asked me out I said, "No, I was busy this weekend"  then he would asked about the following weekend and the following weekend. Let's just say he asked me out 6 - 9 times before I agreed to going somewhere with him.   I did not know if I really wanted to date him.  He had long hair that he flipped under his hat.  Lets just say I was not attracted to him.  But, he was very persistent and I agreed to go somewhere with him.  Unsure of where we went on our first date.  It could have been bowling with friends, pool with friends, or maybe I think we went to the races but telling you the truth, I do not remember what we did on our first date.  I know terrible right.  I think it was because I didn't think of it as a first date.   I remember it was good whatever we did do.  Lets just say, we have been together ever since.  He is my best friend, he is my true love, he is the father of my child, and he is wonderful.  My husband is compassionate, caring, loving, beautiful inside and out, he is one heck of a catch if you know what I mean.  He is mine for life and I could not have a happier life.  He makes it wonderful to wake up next to. Without him I would be lost.  He is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  When I am sad, he builds me up. He knows exactly what to say to me on my down days.  He is my one true love.  My life is complete.  He completes me, and Gabriella completes me too. I have a perfect family.  And, finally after all these years I have my own BFF and I am truly happy.....

Tuesday, December 27, 2011


It has been a great 2011!  The beginning of 2011 was wonderful, we found out we were pregnant with our little girl; Gabriella Raye.  That was the happiest day of our lives.  Well, besides the day she came into the world on October 20, 2011.  We finished building and have moved into our new log home that we have been working on for nearly 6 years.    I guess you could say we are still moving into our home for 6 months now.  We are slowly buying furniture for the new home.  We are buying all the furniture slowly so then we don't have to finance furniture.  Lets just say delayed gratification.  In July we finally moved in.  We couldn't be happier.  
Then October came and we gave birth to the most beautiful baby in the world... Maybe I am biased but its my child I can be :)  She was on a biliblanket and lights for a week.  Or should I say a LONG week.  She is still dealing with bilirubin issues but it is because of my breast milk.  It is called breast milk jaundice.  Minor issue, it should clear up and resolve in a matter of time.  
But any who, we gave birth to Gabriella Raye Richter at 832 pm on October 20th, 2011 after being in labor for nearly 16 hours and pushing for 1.5 hours our little bundle of joy came into this world.  What a happy day!  She is perfect, she is beautiful, and she is our's.  
Then in December, while being on Maternity leave, I have decided to go part~time.  I can not justify letting my baby girl go to day care for 150-200 dollars a week.  Yes, I said a week.  I personally am not fond of  childcare places anyways.  I just envision terrible things and I think for my own sake it will be better if I raise my own child.  I think if I raise my own child too, there will be less sickness I have to deal with in my family.  I know, they are out there for a reason, but if I can make it possible for me to raise my own child I am going to try with all my might.  We will see... how it goes, living one day at a time.

We are so excited to start the next chapter of our life.  We couldn't have asked for a better year.  So hats off to 2011. What a wonderful year it was.  and........

Monday, December 26, 2011

Right Breast!

Looks like the lump is staying the same, Ultrasound was today.. The doctor is calling mammography specialist  to see if a breast feeding mother can have a mammogram.  I guess if they can't do a mammogram I will stop breast feeding, I do not want to procrastinate on such a touchy topic.  
Ultrasound today was inclusive.  Unsure of what they were looking at, they want me to get a mammogram.  Hope its just extra fatty tissue.  Better than the big C.  

Sunday, December 25, 2011


I am very blessed to have Dale and Gabriella in my life.  Thank you for all the wonderful blessings! Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 23, 2011


I am excited to announce that when I go back to work after maternity leave I will be PART TIME.  I could not be anymore excited :)  I guess we just turned the page to the next chapter in our lives and life is getting better!  Bring on the New Year!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Full time, Part time or Casual Work Status

I am trying to figure out if I should change my status at work from Full~time to Part~time for Gabriella's sake.  I personally have a lot of mixed feeling about sending my child to day care.  I am not completely fond of day cares.  I think I am more scared than anything, plus I do not want my kid to come home all the time with a cold or a sickness.  I guess I want to protect her as much as I can.  I know I can't protect her, her whole life, but I want to at least try to limit sickness that she has.  I guess sending my child to child care has me envisioning that she will be in a play pen all day by herself and no one will pay her any attention.  That would completely break my heart.  I know we are OVERLY PROTECTIVE, I just tried so hard to get her here, and I personally want to keep her here.  Eventually I want to go casual status at work where I can pick and choose my hours and no on call. We are looking into individual health plans.  The insurance is really good and it would less than I will be paying being part time at my job through my group plan.  The only catch is that it does not cover maternity.  Will I have another baby, I am not sure.  I husband says, "NO", he is completely satisfied with Gabriella.....The only question I.  A few years back I would have said one is plenty, now I think  Gabriella may need a playmate.   Who knows what direction our life will go. I guess for now,  I am just happy being a family of three.  We are blessed, we are happy and we are content.   

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Drying up the Girls

I have been breast feeding for 3 months now, or should I say I have been pumping and putting the milk into bottles.  It is just more convenient for our life style. It is nice when daddy can help feed at night.  However, I do have an amazing sleeper.  I guess the concern starts because in two weeks I have to go back to work I have to either pump at work which would be very difficult or I need to start drying the girls up.  I would love to keep pumping for Gabriella longer, but with working it is very difficult.  I am not sure what to do here.  I can pump at work but I am a very self conscious  person, they don't have a good place for you to pump, and half the time I do not get a break so it would be after work hours anyways.  I do however have up to 2 months of breast milk stored in the freezer.  
How do you dry up the girls? Is it painful? I am starting to only pump 3 times a day instead of 5 times a day.  I have been getting 30 ounces of breast milk per day with pumping 5 x a day.  I also use a vitamin called FENUGREEK.  I ran out yesterday so I am deciding if I should or if I should not buy some more.  I guess Dale, my husband tells me to stop breast pumping and let it all go, but in the back of my head I keep saying it is better for her than formula.  If you use formula which one do/did  you use and did your baby like it?  I am not sure what to do, I only have 2 weeks before I go back to work.  I should have thought about this a little sooner.  
I guess the big question here is how did you dry up your girls without all the discomfort and not getting mastitis. Can you help a milking mom in need... Any suggestions????

Monday, December 19, 2011

Gabby's First Santa Experience

After long consideration, Dale and I decided to take Gabriella to see Santa on 12-14-11 in the Wausua Mall.  We had a lot of fun together as a family.  We however, didn't do much in the mall but see Santa, but it was a great family day spent together.  I love when my hubby takes off work early so we can do special things together as a family.  I am totally in love with our little family.  This little girl is my whole world and then some, I just couldn't imagine life without her.  Love you Gabriella Raye Richter my little Santa's Reindeer!!!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Lump Part Two

So today,  I got an unexpected phone call from the surgeons office.  Unexpected because I never told the fertility doctor which surgeon I wanted to mess with my lump in my right breast.  I guess, I will get who she picks.  I will have to request the surgeon that I want, because two of the surgeons that I work with I really don't like there motives.  That is a nice way to put it.  But, anyways, they called to tell me they wanted me to do an Ultrasound of the area to see what is really going on.   They said that if the ultrasound comes back normal then they will not do anything about the lump.  If the ultrasound shows something then they will have me come in and get a mammogram or should I say the boobie squishier.  They said they have to call the lactation consultant to see if I can have the ultrasound as soon as possible or see if I have to stop breast feeding my child.  Either way, I am going to get this lump checked out because I do not want to wait to long just in case it turns out to be the BIG C.     Personally I think I have always had lumpy breasts.  So I will just have to wait and see...

Saturday, December 10, 2011

To See Santa or Not to See Santa....

I am not sure if I want to take my daughter who is 8 weeks old to see Santa or Not see Santa.  I keep thinking in the back of my head that the pictures would be PRICELESS... But, then on the other hand I do not want to take her to a germ infested environment, just to please myself.  But then I think I would be really upset if I skipped it all together and miss out on the opportunity for the pictures with Santa.  She might enjoy seeing them later in life.  Did you get yours done for your little one at such a young age or should I let this year pass.. HELP.  Unsure of what to do.  I need to believe in the magic of Christmas, and just go with my instincts and just get them done.  So with that said I will find a place to take her close to home :)

Friday, December 9, 2011

A Lump....

I do not know what to think right now.... 
     A few weeks back I found a slender, round, hard nodule in my right breast, I wasn't to concerned with it because I just thought it was from breast feeding and I figured one of my milk ducts was just a little bit bigger than the rest.  
     Well, today I went to the fertility clinic and the doctor there wants me to go see a surgeon.  She wants to get the nodule biopsied.  My doctor does not think it is too concerning because she thinks it just a cyst, but the nodule is getting bigger.  The first thing she asked was, "Is there any history of breast cancer in your family."  I said, "NO."  As a precautionary measure she wants me to go see a surgeon. I am freaking right now.  So many emotions.  I guess the biggest thing is I am not sure which surgeon I want to see for I work with all of them at the hospital, and to me it is a little embarrassing.  I know, I know they deal with this crazy stuff all the time but  I work with them, that is the difference.  I guess this is just a little bit out of my comfort area.  I can see having joint surgery or appendix, but a breast..   Give me a break or should I say a breast..  I guess I have many things running through my head right now.  I am mostly concerned that it might be the big C.  
How can this be happening I was just blessed with a beautiful baby girl who I love and cherish and want to spend every waking moment with her.  But now......I am not sure what is going to happen.  I truly believe in my heart that it is a CYST and not CANCER.  But, I am going to get it checked and see where it goes from there.  I will keep you posted... If she thought it was cancer I think she would had made me get in to see the surgeon as soon as possible.. But, she does not seem to be too concerned with it, so with that said... I will live my life, and live it to the fullest..  after I get my lumpy breast checked.  

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Family Biz

I would say I do not have a typical family, but rather an uncaring one.  So I had a baby 7 weeks ago, and the only one on my side of the family that came to see my baby was my mother and my niece Brittany.  I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers, and none of them went out of there way to welcome my little peanut into this world.  So yes, I am very bitter about it.  I am very hurt..  
I feel like I was born into the wrong family.  I just wished they would care that Gabriella is part of the family.  I am not sure if I am hurt or just pissed because I always go out of my way for all of them and this is how they repay me.  
So, I came to the conclusion, that I am cutting myself out of my family for good.. If they don't care about me or my baby or my husband why should I care about them?  I do not need negativity in my life, I don't need them in my life and I defiantly don't care what they think about me anymore.  I am sick of them dragging me down, and I really don't feel like they care about my Gabriella.  I am a parent now, and I need to protect my child from all the negativity in her life.  I feel that my family is very negative and she does not have to go through that.  
Is it bad when the people you work with care about your child more than your own family?  Is it terrible that I feel this way?  Should I keep giving them chances?  What do you think I should do?
I am done....I am hurt......and I am a little bitter........